We hear the word “abuse” much too often. But what can we do to help? There are a number of truths we have to consider. For ease of understanding I will summarize my views into points.

As the title says, we are suffering mentally. Let’s break it down:

MENTAL – means it’s taking place in the mind. Seeking professional help will involve a psychiatrist, who will usually address the sub-conscious causes and bring them into awareness, then explore ways to treat these causes.

SUFFERING – is a definition of prolonged exposure to pain. Neurons (in the brain) that fire together – stick together. Through repetition they form into re-occurring patterns and over time, what may have been simple pain, turns into suffering.

My research into “Who We Are” shows unequivocally, that consciousness seeks growth. We are incessantly growing in awareness of the world and of the Self, and this necessarily involves bringing everything OUT into the open, from our subconscious into the conscious. This means we are becoming our own psychiatrists. But this is not all!

We are now entering the second stage of conscious evolution, where we are becoming aware of being aware, and this means we are beginning to address the ethical and moral RESPONSIBILITIES as well as the EFFICIENCY of everything we sense, think, say and do.

What does all this mean? Let’s dig deeper and examine who we are.

1. We are not just our thoughts! We are the body, the emotions, the intellect and the spiritual. Research shows emotions arise all over our body and are intellectualized by the mind. This means the CAUSE of our suffering is NOT mental, but emotional.
2. We are RESPONSE-ABLE beings, meaning we have the capacity to respond to situations and thus to co-create our reality. Others can advise us, but only WE can make ourselves better.
3. We are intelligent, self-aware beings, meaning we can direct in WHAT CAPACITY (Efficiency) we respond to situations. To maximize this capacity we must understand the nature of reality and who we truly are.
4. The past has gone, the future is yet to become, while NOW, right this moment, is the only true reality. All other realities are an illusion. This means if we are suffering because of the past, we are living in an illusion and must find our way back to presence, to the only reality that truly exists. Again, this can only happen WITHIN. An effective way is to get into the body. Exercise does this very effectively because it re-directs our focus to the body. Another great way is through meditation, not forcing ourselves into anything, but ALLOWING the true self to come forth. All life and this includes physical exercise and meditation, is basically an exercise in awareness. Raising awareness is key to getting out of suffering.
5. This brings us to perhaps the most complex part of the message: FORGIVENESS. To truly forgive is possibly one of the toughest challenges for human beings. Built-up anger creates deep inner torment that, if left unattended, rots away within our subconscious. It causes bitterness and affects our mood, our health, our reasoning capacity, our vitality, and our peace of mind, but has no effect on the person, or people, that we believe have done us wrong. This means forgiveness is primarily about THE SELF, not them. The power rests with us. We initiate the process by granting ourselves the permission to forgive and to let go while keeping healthy boundaries. We accept the way it is without excusing the act. The intention is to heal our hurt feelings, not to minimize or justify somebody’s wrongdoing. They are as they are, but we take charge of our destiny. We step forward, identify the inner torment, bring it into the present moment, and expose it in the light of truth. Our Ego may hurt, but the path toward the truth is always a healing one.

Through the simple act of letting go, by allowing what is to be, we crush through the stalemate position and replace our grievances with acceptance. Not acceptance of what they did, but acceptance of this moment, of the infinite potential within: WHO WE TRULY ARE.

6. This brings us to the final point. We must learn about the SELF, of who we truly are. I truly believe blind faith is not enough. Instead, we should UNDERSTAND and personally EXPERIENCE the TRUTH OF THE SELF. What does this truth tell us? It tells us we are infinite potential for love, for gratitude, for creation, and for abundance. We have the power to replace anger and pain with compassion and happiness; to make peace with the way it is, to release our emotional blockages, and regain control of our lives.

Learning about forgiveness is essentially learning about the self. Everybody eventually forgives or dies trying. Nelson Mandela wrote in his memoirs that “as I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”[i] So let’s step out of our prison and embrace the TRUE SELF, the absolute freedom.

[i] Nelson Mandela quote https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/278812-as-i-walked-out-the-door-toward-the-gate-that